Getting moved in…

So I have friends that use blogger.  I have friends that know waaay more about webhosting than I do, and they have their own stuff.   I personally decided that blogger was getting a little retarded with spam comments, log in issues, and no one knew I posted there.  So I am working on moving in here, and using this as the next phase of my life.  Check back often, the cardboard boxes will be going to the curb, and maybe I will get a plant or something.

Ho Ho Crack Ho

Christmas. A time for families, for togetherness, and for the spirit of giving. At least that is how I always thought it should be.

Today, we went to my parents house, or at least the orphanage where they work. It was supposed to be a time for the family to get together and celebrate Christmas. My wayward sister was going to join us for the first time in years. It was going to be a holiday to remember.

We got there around 1:30 right as lunch was coming out of the oven. Now because of all of my warnings, Ali knew that my mother cannot cook. She has a bad habit of burning the things that don’t go in the oven, and not cooking the things totally that go in the oven all the way through. So on the way, we stop at Jack in the Box and get burgers. Luckily we did not have to eat very much of it.

We had a fairly good time, watching the baby open his presents, and sitting around doing not much of anything. My sister called once to tell us she was going to be late, since they were working on their car. She called again to say the car was not getting fixed and she needed a ride. So at 5 my father set out to pick up my sister and her current live in guy.

At 6:30 apparently he told her that we were waiting for her at the house with my mom. And she lost it. She did not want to face us. She was turning in a true chicken shit moment. So instead of her returning home, my mother told us that we needed to leave. Let me repeat that. WE were tossed out on Christmas eve. My parents chose my crack head (literally), prostitute (again literally), disappearing sister over their other son and his family. So we left.

Granted my family has never really been good at holiday togetherness or really any other time of year togetherness. But this is the lowest form of, well I don’t really know what to call it.

So my family returned home. We made cookies for Santa and decorated them. We are watching Home Alone and tracking santa on NORAD while a fire burns in the fireplace. Hell with them. We are having Christmas.

I hope everyone is with the one they love this year, and may 2008 be a happy and bright one for you as well.

Now what did I do with my bottle of whiskey…Santa needs a nip.

its been a while…

So here I am, its November, starting to get a little cooler out there. I am still not working. I managed to push a little too hard in my PT sessions, and injured another section of my back. Friday I am heading back to the pain management gurus, and they are going to inject my spine with stuff to hopefully get me over this and back to my recovery stuff.

I have had lots of time to sit and work with the iPhone, and work on the new Mac OS, Leopard, and I must say, these two additions to the Apple fold will no doubt bring in a few converts. Yay for my stock!

I started out a few months ago not understanding why everyone made such a big deal out of Guitar Hero, to a few weeks ago admitting it looked interesting, to a few days ago feeling like a dork for wanting it, to 24 hours ago feeling like a complete nerd for using it, and a few hours ago from feeling like a digital rock star, all be it quite bad at the moment. What a strange game.

Still reading the Dark Tower series by Steven King. I kept thinking a book is getting sluggish, then turn a page and cannot put it down after that. IF you have a few months to kill, sit and read them, they are quite good, but will manage to hurt your head.

Well that is it for me, a panic attack tonight made this take over 3 hours to write. Time to relax for a bit. Im physically and emotionally drained and need a nap.

My August

It has been an interesting couple of weeks. I guess I have been so busy with things in general, I have not blogged. Let’s try this quick hit style, and see if I can get everything caught up.

• Not sure if I mentioned this or not, but after 3 weeks of recovery, we decided to take a day trip to Glen Rose, Texas and check out Dinosaur State Park. It’s a cool little area of Texas on the Brazos river, where there are footprints of dinosaurs that are preserved in the limestone edges of the river. What we did not know until we arrived is that the footprints are only visible after a ½ mile hike down loose rock and sand cliffs to the water. I made it all the way down to the river and back up, so I was quite proud.

• While taking my son to his grandparents for a much needed kid free weekend, my mother announced that she had “twisted my back like yours” and could not breath, could not function from the pain. WE rushed her to the ER for medical attention, and found that there was nothing on the X-Rays or MRI, but they gave her some of the strongest medication I have ever heard. I mean, a patch that is used for Cancer patients was given to her. Needless to say, the baby came home with us and the weekend was cancelled.

• Tossed the wiffle ball to the boy day before yesterday, and while I did not attempt to do full speed pitches, or really break off curves, my back has been screaming for the past 2 days. Perhaps that was a bit early. Its hard to tell him I cannot play, and watch him be sad because of it, so I gave in, but perhaps did a little too much.

• I was supposed to have a follow up appointment with my doctor this morning, but last Wednesday, his office called and told me that my doctor was having emergency surgery himself, and would be out for a while. So I guess I got a reprieve from actual PT until next week. I really am ready to get started with it though, as I would like to start getting more range of motion. Time.

• The Mrs got a IM from a man who had done a great deal of online detective work. Turns out that he is the son of her Grandfather’s half brother. Confused yet? Yeah me too. I guess they had the same father and were both walked out on very early in their lives and never really met. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, he found her.

• Friday I turn 32. I would not go back and change anything I have done to this point, except maybe take better care of my back and knees.

Military vs. Civilian Friends

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you dont get caught

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents Drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn…we fucked up…but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your pussy.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each other’s stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will Low Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will listen to your relatioship problems and hope it works out for you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will listen to you over a long hard road march, and will help you straighten it out better than Dr. Phil.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have spooned with you in the field more than your girl has, and would never even think about doing that.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home fuckers!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will man up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn’t come.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don’t waste.. That’s alcohol abuse!!!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Can’t begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say “I can’t handle Tequila anymore”.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say “okay just one more” and then 2 minutes later “okay just one more”.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you “They’d take a bullet for you.”
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will repost this

10:21 PM – 3 Comments – 0 Kudos -

another week down…

And just like that, I have made it through 2 weeks with a new back. Things are getting easier. The pain can still be pretty high at times, but its not a constant. I have been attempting to walk every day. Today is my proudest achievement, 1.19 miles in a single session. Almost 2 miles from 11am-5pm. The only downfall, I am afraid I will be hurting later, as I was in serious pain last night after almost a mile. But as I have said before, Pain is weakness leaving the body. Tomorrow is my first post op doctors appointment, and I get to find out if I can reach over my head or pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds. What I really want to find out is if they will let me go swimming. With the temperature reaching 103 every day, I think a 98 degree pool will be nice.

This also marks day 15 with no smoking. So lets see. Back fixed, exercising every day, and not smoking. Holy crap I might be getting healthy before long. Who would have thought on my daily diet of powdered sugar doughnuts I could get to a point where I actually want to work out. I just put on the shuffle, rocked out, and walked. I can also tell that I am moving around a little faster.

I will post again tomorrow when I get news from the doctor. As per usual, I will be bringing sexy back.

T-minus 18 hours and change

so we are presently in the car, heading to Denton to take the baby munkey to his grandparents for at least a few days. One of the things that I picked up for Mrs Ninjamunkey is a cell access card for the mac. That way she can post updates to the web on my surgery, and recovery and such. We are going to plan on a really nice rich dinner tonight, maybe fondue. No food after midnight or I turn into the evil grimlin instead of the cute and cuddley mogwai.

More later!

relief in sight

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real-Johnny Cash-Hurt

July 10, 2007. Int. Orthopedic surgeon’s office. I am sitting in a chair that feels like it has never been sat in before. The burnt orange vinyl is sticking to the back of my legs, and the copy of Sports Illustrated from 2004 is on my lap. My back and legs feel like I have been hit in the lower back with a baseball bat the size of a small Cadillac.

I get called into an office that could seriously use a professional organizer, or at least someone to take out the trash. There are folders stacked around the room. Some stacks are taller than I am, and leaning in such a way that I am amazed they are actually standing. The lady comes in and apologizes for keeping me waiting. She tells me that with the 4th of July holiday she is way behind. I want to tell her that is no excuse for not calling me back, or not answering her voicemails, but really I just want to get all the scheduling done for my surgery and get out of there.

So then she hits me all at once with, we have an opening in less than 2 weeks, so your booked then. The 23rd. She then rattles off 5 appointment date and times for me. 1 test with my regular physician for blood work and a physical. The last real physical I had was conducted by a Army doctor on my way to bootcamp. I am really hoping they don’t ask me to duck walk across the room this time, as I might have to give up. Luckily, they didn’t. The second appointment is for both Mrs. Ninjamunkey and myself with the surgeon and his assistant, going over what to expect during and after the procedure. I am also going to be fitted for a back brace that I assume I will have to wear for a while afterwards. That is coming up tomorrow. The final pre-surgery thing I have to do is give 2 pints of blood to be typed and cross matched so they have it on hand incase they need it.

So I leave the doctors office, fueled with the reality that this surgery is happening. And I started to panic a little bit. We are talking about my spine here, fusing the vertebra together near my hip bone, to allow better strength and pain management. At no point did I hear anything like “all the ice cream you can eat” so it’s a little scary.

My work knows I am going to be out for a while, and I have set up the short term disability paperwork, so I can at least have some money coming in. Of course I asked to use a few vacation days the Saturday and Sunday before surgery so I can spend some time with my family and get things in order, but they could only spare me on Sunday.

My friends have been supportive, asking how they can help, what they can do, what did I need and stuff like that. Sadly, I have a hard time asking for help. Should I be moving, I might ask for assistance after the sofa has fallen off the truck and and is wedged on my head.

So there you have it. I am going under the knife in less than a week. I have spared you the stories of my panic attacks, the anxiety over what might or might not happen, and the tale of how the hair on my legs has suddenly started falling out, which may or may not be due to poor circulation, or medications, or stress. Those are tales for the days that I have coming up. I will spare you the gory details of the surgery and the afterwards, unless requests are made.

put the lime in the coconut….

Well it was bound to happen, and it did. I had a rhythm going where I could blog on a simi regular basis. I was interesting and had interesting things to say. People around the world looked forward to my musings and could not wait for more. Then, I woke up after life smacked me with that big old hickory stick. So I present for you the past several weeks events, in quick hits style. Hopefully I will not run out of creative juice and be able to add insight.

-Usually the one thing you can say in June in Texas is “eff its hot” well not this year. Instead we have had more rain in the first 6 months than we usually get all year. Towns are floating away, people are floating away, but that damn beer can has been in the yard for a week now, only moving a few inches a day.

-My good friend and fellow Mac guy Devin got hitched. We went to the wedding and partook, partaken, well whatever, we drank the hell out of his open bar. It was a fantastic ceremony with some rain, wind, and kilts all over the place.

-We also helped Devin with his charity event last weekend. Can’t Stop the Serenity is a screening of the movie Serenity, from Firefly the TV series, with lots of fun, games, prizes and lots of people talking about a show that got cancelled on Fox, but still runs in our hearts. The Charity itself is not for the film, that would just be silly, but actually the money goes to equality now, an organization that helps support the right for women world wide to be equal in every way to men, except for the appreciation of the 3 stooges. That is only a man thing.

-As some of you may know, I am a HUGE baseball fan, and a HUGER Texas Ranger fan. Well this year the Rangers are inspiring a “maybe next year” in June. Yeah, that bad, but dammit, I still try to watch as much as I can.

-Some of you also may know that I work for a fruit flavored computer company. Well we have products that have been announced that have made my professional life seem a bit, well, hectic. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but because of my NDA, I can only say

-And finally, I just found out today the root cause of all my back pain for the past year. I apparently have a slipped disk and vertebrae that is compressing on a nerve and that my friends is the cleaned up version. So in just a few short weeks, I will be under going a back fusion surgery. 8 weeks or so recovery time. Sounds exciting huh? Just don’t send me the horror stories about your uncle farmer joe that got that dune….I don’t want to hear about it at this point.

The Long walk…

Charity. (n) the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.

This weekend was the MS walk in Fort Worth, Texas. We have been trying to sign up for at least 1 walk per year, as we are rather dedicated to the cause. So I made sure I was off work, we got my parents to watch baby Munkey, and we found a group of friends that wanted to be there, and created a team, Team Shoutouts.

We all met at the world famous Fort Worth Stock Yards, the site for this years walk. Unfortunately Mrs. Ninjamunkey has been battling a stomach virus all night the night before, and I was battling the effects of several rounds of beer from the neighbor’s birthday party. Hey it was an ice cold keg, what was I to do?

Mrs. Ninjamunkey had checked her blood pressure at Wal-Mart that afternoon, as we were picking up a knee brace for old man Ninjamunkey’s knee, and really did not do too hot. She was light headed and weak, and generally not feeling well. We pressed on.

Meeting James in the parking lot, and finding Robert and Rachel in the sign in line, our team was assembled, and it was time to go looking for swag. You see there are about 900 billion drug and drug like companies that want to get their name out there, so they hand out everything from M&M candies to sunblock. We walked the gauntlet of tables, getting shirts, notepads, water, koozies, and other refinements. I belive at one point, I joked “this is the coolest disease ever”

We started spotting teams warming up, looking like they were about to run a 50K, not a 5k. They had on matching T-Shirts, hats, headbands, and other essentials. Essential if you were to look like a goober. We had a look to our team too. I would like to call it Sandlot baseball uniform. Shorts, T-shirts, and ball caps. Nothing that remotely matched.

After a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner by some chicka, we were told to go.

As we started walking toward this huge archway made of multicolored balloons, Mrs. Ninjamunkey looked at an ambulance nearby, and remarked “maybe I should get my BP checked again, I am not feeling so hot.”

So we interrupt two medics sitting on the ambulance, looking like they were about to doze off, and tell them to check her out. They look at us crazy, so I assume they were there to get swag and drink the free beer later. Her BP was low still, but fairly normal, so they say she is ok. As I help her out of the back of the truck, she begins to look green. She hurries to a port-a-Pot, and its there praying to the seals, she realizes she should not go forward with the 5k. We all agree, and say instead, we will walk for her, since well, we were walking for her anyway. She being the trooper she normally is, I knew she was not feeling well, especially if she did not put up a fight. So the remaining 4 Shoutouts head out.
The first part of the walk is through the actual stock yards themselves, past the loading area that was used for sheep and hogs. As we hike over the uneven bricks, the darkness of our combined humor starts to show its face. We comment on the fact that wheel chairs and scooters would be screwed 2 seconds into the walk. As an old man in a right yellow shirt and duck shaped hat comes back the other way with his cane, I am glad I have the knee brace.

We turn wide, and head down one of the main streets in downtown Fort Worth, I think its called Main street. People are walking past us with huge beers, large barbecue sandwiches, and novelty hats, so clearly this is going to be one hell of a cool walk. We see motorcycles sharing the same road with cowboys on horseback, which I think is how John Wayne and God intended it to be.

So as we stroll down the brick and cobblestone road, we start to joke that soon, we are going to call Mrs. Ninjamunkey back at basecamp and explain that while the walk was interesting, we were going to spend some time in the bars along the way. Drinking our way to a cure. We never did.

We made it through downtown and around behind the stockyards. The change in scenery was abrupt, as soon as we crossed a set of railroad tracks, we turned a slight corner and voila, we were walking past the abandoned swift Amour rendering plant and slaughterhouse. It was like a scene out of a war movie, only the buildings were bombed with grafitti artists as well. I even witnessed some tagging near the top of one building that said “Bagel Hoes!!!” in 10-foot letters. Not quite sure what that means, but I guess someone did.
Everyone on the team, all 4 of us, started commenting on how the buildings and surrounding areas looked like a location used for a horror picture. You know the long haired guy, the social outcast, the girl and the jock all heading into the “haunted” slaughter house, picked off one by one by a guy wearing a pig mask. Yeah, good think it was daylight, cause well I would not want to get picked off today. Not in the mood.
You wanna know the worst part about starting late in the walk? We were behind 4 VERY large women pushing strollers. They were all wearing tie-dyed shirts, and kept stopping to bend over and pick up stuff the kids in the strollers were tossing on the ground, so we kept getting hit with Super fat butt shots the whole way. That makes the walking worse. If I could have gotten away with walking backwards, I would have, but then I would have tripped and had to rely on my team to carry me, then explain to the people who lapped us why I fell. And that would be bad.

So we pressed on, rounding a corner and coming to an area that looked like industrial buildings 50 years ago. The weeds were growing so tall and think that I believe a Sci-Fi person could start the description with “and the alien rock from planet Weedmax fell to the earth, causing the dandelions to reach out with human like faces…” As we passed an old ironworks sort of place, we saw the “pick and pull” auto salvage places. Aaah history. Across from the auto lots, there was an emptyish field. I say empty, because every 4 feet was another piece of medical waste. Seriously. Catheters, Syringes, and who knows what else. Since the relief stations were giving cold water every few hundred yards, I could understand the need for a catheter, but seriously, how would you put one of those bad boys in while walking? We pressed on down the road. Another 75-100 feet or so, we found a half empty, mostly torn trash bag full of store bought saurdough dinner rolls. Apparently this area has one hell of a party when the sun goes down.

As we rounded a corner, passing a group of cheering volunteers, offering more damn water, god I have to pee, we smelled two smells back to back. The first of which was pot smoke. Seriously. Since most every person that lived in the area was on the porch, and since the primary language in that area was a combo hip-hop and spanish, I did not spend too much energy looking for the smoker, but from the smellI would say it was a industrial sized chimney. Shortly after commenting in hushed voices, Rachel pointed out the area smelled “like cum”. Now granted being a guy, I am not sure what the unmistakable smell is, but my nose has been burned by too many locker rooms filled with greenish fungus on the socks and jocks, but she swears by it. So to recap, we have cum, weed, catheters, sourdough, and autoparts. See told you it was a party.

The end was near, well for our walk anyway. We left the barrio, and started smelling horse turds and beer again. The volunteers that were out cheering the teams on had already started packing up by the time we got passed them, and could only offer a half-hearted “woo”. That was ok, we were tired too. And I still needed to pee. As we crossed the final intersection, and made it into the dirt of the stockyards, we realized that we, -all in our 30ishness, unhealthy, can I have extra cheese on that cheese, hand me another beer before this one gets hot, grab my smokes while your there picture of unhealthy- had just walked a 5k without loosing a limb. Mrs. Ninjamunkey met us at the finish line, and announced pizza and beer in the basecamp. I went to find a bathroom.